December 2009
54 posts
Kathyna: I mean, everything is turning in to a fad now. The whole indie/hippie/hipster thing.
Linda: What do you think my fashion sense is?
Kathyna: You're very... low-key.
Linda: Is that a bad thing?
Kathyna: No, it's just low-key. Laidback. With a touch of darkness.
Linda: Har Har.
I dug myself in a hole.
It’s taking a while to climb out. It’s starting to fill with water and I can’t swim or float. So I drown and attempt to push for every small bit of oxygen intake I can. Maybe in that push, by instinct, learn how to swim.
Those who think of suicide are said to be pathetic. Those who actually commit suicide have nothing but praises afterward speaking of “Oh, s/he was so...
Later on today when I wake up from my insomniac...
I’m going to count all the words I speak to see how much I talk in a day when I’m mostly alone in my room at home or talking normally to my sister. It should be interesting since I read an unfounded claim that women speak on average, 7,000 words a day, whereas men speak just about 2,000 which seems ridiculous to me. I can tell you that all the guys that I’ve met and hung with...
I seem to have a precognition for things,
a massive intuition that almost always comes out right due to the fact that I seem to read people so well. This is getting monotonous. Even people I thought I had read wrong came out to be right from the beginning. Throughout my entire life of knowing a countless number of people, most faces I have forgotten, only a handful of people have seemed truly real and honest and good, despite outward...
Feet hanging miles above,
I have a small problem with deciphering my dreams from the memories in reality. I’m not sure if I’ve done this or maybe have done that. It’s gotten to the point where I no longer inquire about certain things to people because I’m not sure if it happened. I’ll speak of this vision, which I can’t stop thinking about and comes to thought at very random times, in a...
“Fiery passion gone
Is this the result of death
In the human soul?”
– Linda’s Random Haiku Moment
Cogitation, Abstraction, Contemplation.
It’s always in the deepest hours of the night that provokes the human mind in to thought. Whether it be mundane thoughts that deal with what we’re going to do tomorrow, technically today at a later hour considering the time at which my insomniac mind is writing this, or radical ones that revolutionize the era and everything that we once felt or believed in. It is still simply that, a...
“I read once about a woman whose secret fantasy was to have an affair with an...”
I am half a person.
Though my demeanor may speak of experience and someone who has been weathered down by all that life has to offer, that isn’t the case. All of my thoughts, viewpoints, and morals have been the outcome of watching the downfalls of others. Don’t let it be mistaken that I haven’t experienced anything in my life, but what I grasp mostly is from watching the actions of others. I...
Once there was a small piece of Sodium who lived...
A PHASEEEEE. AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA.
They've cut away my voice box...
rendered mute and speechless, no spoken words able to describe this exact moment. How can I translate to you how I feel when you can barely read my facial expressions and physical motions? I’ve given you every single clue and indication which you’ve overlooked time and time again, constantly searching for the broad and to the point answer. The easy way out. Never thinking of the subtle...
“The sheets are so cold
Without your company here
Won’t you please come...”
– Linda’s Random Haiku Moment
Someone asked me if I still existed,
thousands of replies popped in to my head and I shuffled through which would be the most appropriate answer to give. Should I be cryptic and puzzling with half-assed remarks to his question? Or should I simply lie? Even then, what would have been a lie? And the truth? What was it? Was I alive or dead? Could I feel my body, still? Or was I simply floating along at that moment? What was existence,...
“The sun is shining
I revel in its glory
Against my frail skin.”
– Linda’s Random Haiku Moment
I am in an incredible mood.
Why does that look so weird?
I am in an incredible mood. I amamemeininincredible mood. I am in a incredible mood. I am inanininicredible mood.
Don’t you just hate it when you feel as if you spelled a word wrong and it’s right but it feels and looks absolutely retarded? I feel like Nemo when he was trying to say ‘anemone’. I know there’s a technical term for it,...
She smiled one of those secret smiles, the one...
All my sleeping dreams have replaced my waking...
Head constantly in the clouds, feet never on the ground.
I am going to start a 400 page novel today.
It’s going to be full of action and adventure, full of excitement I’ve never felt. Purely built upon mere imagination, I’ll add in creatures that live in the darkest depths of our minds. The caged beasts, shackled animals, brought to life and freed! Freed of all the restraints that kept them all back. I’ll add in a dash of romance, a hint of the mysterious, and just a lick...
My ovaries are free for the punching you guys.
Kathyna: LOOK, I'M GONNA PUNCH YOU IN YOUR OVARIES AND YOU'LL NEVER HAVE KIDS!
Linda: I don't care! Punch me in my ovaries, I don't want kids anyway!
Kathyna: Well, well I'm NOT gonna punch you in your ovaries so you CAN have kids!
Linda: URGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
I want to be buried in the Isle of Avalon.
Where the apples grow plentifully, full and round. And nature has been untouched by the desecrating touch of man.
In a long, white dress with my face stripped bare, naked of makeup. Vines, overgrown and wrapped around my body.
My mind likes to stray in history.
It also has no specific time period that it focuses on. Although I adore the fashion, the morals, the mythology, and other such factors that pertain to any previous era, I like to focus on the kings, emperors, and conquerors. The greatest, the powers each one has held and continues to hold within the confines of mere history books and behind measly words that are close to explaining them, but not...
Some things are beautiful for the very reason that...
“Sing, sing a song for me of joy and gladness,
Sing, sing a song to ease my...”
– Fa Una Canzone - Orazio Vecchi
I reach my hands up far above me
and grab at the empty atmosphere so desperately.
I still question why I am here instead of there. Still wonder why the walls seem small at night and large during the day. Still inquire about the shadows that lurk in corners with the coming of light and take full control as it passes. Still probe for some kind of answer as time continues to go and circle in seemingly rapid or seemingly slow...
i could fall far away in mere imagery, see sights...
within all of this, i see you. just you. falling far away with me…
I love the way the rain hits my skin, ever so lightly, ever so gently. The way it’s wetness and humidity curls the ends of my long hair and makes it have such an image of natural flowing beauty besides the regular mess I’ve always somehow managed to keep slightly under wraps. I love the earth between my fingertips, gritty and wet, it’s so alive, there so much hidden power beneath...
Tilt your head in surprise,
What are you thinking of right now? I can’t stop wondering. I want to know the deepest parts of you. I want to know what makes you happy, the things that make you sad, the things that make you tick in anger, the things that just make you simply feel, no matter how big or small the reaction. I want to know YOU. Not your body. Physical things are merely perks. I want to see inside the core...
“I just don’t enjoy people. People, at least in my experience, rarely say...”
– Unknown
And she told me one day, while we were basking in...
That the emptiness inside my heart would be filled to the very brim with love, hope, and adoration. That the light that was once in my eyes would return and shine twice as bright that it had before it burned out. That someone would fall so deeply in love with my mind and never shy away, no matter what obstacles were held before the both of us. Someone would be there, no matter how hard I pushed...
random bursts of memory often escape from the...
One, in particular, that has been bothering me today is a specific one from the time I lived in California. Or maybe it was Kansas. Darn. There goes the horrid, shotty memory all over again. It doesn’t matter. I was 4 or 5.
This was when my family used to sleep in one room. It was my mother, sister, and I, plus two other souls I can’t think of, one of them being a faceless man. We...
My chest felt incredibly tight. As if the bone that protects my heart decided to grow a size smaller than what it should have been and in the process began enfolding and tightening around the pulsating muscle, almost immobilizing it from beating and sustaining the life inside. It still hurts. Badly.
Fuck my body. It’s useless and chock full of complications that few understand.
“The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source...”
– Albert Einstein
I am a walking corpse. Almost a zombie of sorts.
People love to stare at my veins a lot, they’re interested at the fact it’s so prominently dark and contrasting against my pale skin. Especially the ones in my hands, which happen to be two different colors, purple and dark green. I’ve had people grab at my hands and begin to trace the lining infinitely, transfixed in to them. They don’t realize that the colors, mean that...
it’s dark, the walls have set off in a constant spinning motion, little lights like traces of life passing by in zigzag lines. they begin to close in, the walls and lights, when suddenly little lights leave me, and all the shadows reign free. my eyes have stopped wandering, they close. my eyes have stopped working, blinded by darkness. they’re choking me now, i feel them all somehow...
A liar, the only thing I cannot stand.
Keeping the truth, forming false stories, they lead to the same painful end result. It’s only so much I can take before anger takes reign over any calm emotion I’m able to attain and mask with. Why can’t you just tell me things honestly? Why can’t you just SAY the truth from the beginning? Especially in matters like this. Despite all the anger, I’ll know later on...
I play up countless scenarios
and dream of full movies that my twisted mind has conjured. I think up a large multitude of scripts and stories yet to ever be put on physical paper because I have never felt the need for anyone to see or even know of the things my mind has ever thought. It’s not enough, they’re not enough. Ideas have formed and gone just as quick, the thoughts racing by as I could only try to write it...
We were running,
from shadows, things that were unknown at that point to my hazy view. You had my hand in yours and you held it tightly, as if you were scared. I had never seen you so frightened and I squeezed your hand back in comfort as my lungs were aching and my legs were burning under such intense fires as we continued to run. It got darker, the buildings began to look more far apart and trees began to form....
Too many demons.
I feel lost within them, skeletal bodies writhing and twisting. They claw at me, nails digging sharp in the deepest parts of me in the forms of anxiety, sleepless nights, and paranoia. Never resting, they plague me at every turn in the method of sharp bursts of memories from little, seemingly worthless triggers. I can’t breathe. It hurts to much to even begin to bother.